Footy Jokes
Mick Malthouse heard there was a potential star footballer in Iraq. He persuaded Eddie to pay his fare to Iraq and off he went to check out this new lad. Sure enough Mick was very impressed with this new recruit from Iraq and brought him back to Collingwood to train. He trained all through the off season and when it was time for the first game he found himself sitting on the bench. Ten minutes into the last quarter Nathan Buckley did a knee and had to be carried off. Mick said to his young recruit, “This is it son, now is your chance to show me if my faith in you has paid off.” Out the young Iraqi recruit went and played a glorious game. He took five blistering marks off the shoulders of his opponent, was instrumental in getting the ball to the forward line again and again and in the dying minutes of the game took a mark and kicked a goal from outside the 50 metre line after the siren to win the game for Collingwood. Mick and the team were in the dressing room after the game, triumphant, and Mick was talking to the boys. He told them to take heart from this young Iraqi recruit and how he had shown what you can achieve no matter how bad your circumstances are. He said how proud he was of the boy and he touched him on the shoulder and said , “Son, go into my office and ring your mother and tell her what you did today.” The young Iraqi recruit went into Mick’s office and rang his mother and said, “Mum do you know what happened to me today?” His mother, in a very distraught tone, said, “I do not care what happened to you today, let me tell you what happened to your family today. Your father was stabbed, your sister’s car was bombed and our house has been torched. There are armed looters taking what is left of our belongings and I am too scared to go outside as there are gangs in the street.” The boy said, “Mum, I’m sorry. I feel responsible for all of this.” His mother replied, “Of course you are responsible, if it wasn’t for you, we would not have moved to Collingwood.”
Shifty
A recently arrived immigrant was sitting at his home - terrified after going to his first game of footy. His mate came in and saw how scared he was and asked what was wrong. "I am not ever going back to the Melbourne Cricket Ground again!" the new arrival said. "After the game I saw thousands of people running around the carpark yelling "We waz robbed! We waz robbed!!!"
